I make myself sick . . .

I mean, i really make myself ill sometimes. I have a horrible tendency to second guess every decision I ever make. I found myself locked in the bathroom this morning vomiting repeatedly while my two little boys banged on the bathroom door asking for apple juice. And I really think the problem was just an overload of worry I've been swallowing lately because of all the big things that have been happening in my life. For one, I've second guessed the school we're sending Aidan to next year. It's a primary school on campus, lots of research going on there, and they call the teacher by his first name. A school for little smarty kids. A great opportunity for our boy, but I heard an overdressed, overweight evangelist on tv today use the expression that not every open door is a "God door." I don't usually take spiritual advice from flashy evangelists, but I can say that phrase has only added to my repetoire of worry. Lots of worry has surrounded my decision to go to work part-time. I have loved being home for the last 5 years with my kiddos, and I wasn't necessarily planning to go back to work just yet. It's just that a job that seemed perfect for me has come my way and they want me and I said yes even before all the details of childcare, etc were established. I guess there's a few other smaller things swirling around too that have me a little ill at ease. I tell myself that I'm trusting God with my life. I pray and I wait. And then I end up camped on the bathroom floor waiting for a little more worry to come up so I can flush it down the toilet. Isn't there a way to avoid all this?